It might seem that nobody understands what you (or someone you know) are going through or that you are alone - but remember that lots of other young people are in the same situation and there IS help available.

The most important thing to do is tell someone about the self harm. Although this can feel difficult, it is the first step to being free.

There are lots of reasons why people (of all ages) harm themselves, by:

• cutting, burning, scalding, hair pulling, breaking bones…

For most it is a way of ‘coping’ with painful emotions inside (for example, from bereavement, divorce, feeling alone, low self-esteem, being abused, being bullied etc.) and is not because they want to kill themselves. It is also more common a problem than people think and it easily becomes addictive.

About 1 in every 15 young people in Britain has harmed themselves.

Often other people who are harming themselves feel guilty and ashamed. They want the ‘pain’ inside to come out and harming themselves feels like the only way to do this. Self-harm gives them temporary relief and a sense of control over their lives. Often people think “I’ll just do it once”, but it becomes a pattern.

Sometimes people worry that if they tell someone their only ‘survival technique’ will be taken away. There can be a fear that other people won’t understand. It is very important that you (or anyone you know who is harming) talks to an adult you trust such as a family member, doctor, school counsellor or teacher. 

If this person doesn’t help and you can’t think of anyone else you can talk to, then contact the Samaritans for support or the UK based National Self Harm Network. The most important thing of all is that you are comfortable with:

• WHO you decide to tell
• WHAT you tell them
• WHEN and WHERE you tell them.

You mustn’t feel pressured into answering lots of questions or saying more than you want to. You can set the pace. Try to focus on the feelings or situation that led to you harming yourself, rather than on the harming behaviour.

Here are some ‘DISTRACTION methods’ other people have tried that have helped them reduce how often they harm themselves, and for many people these things have helped them to stop completely: