Have you ever met anyone who is going through their life and they don’t know what they want. I mean, what they really want.

So why not take a moment to ask yourself these questions:

-         What do YOU want? (e.g. more money, more friends, more space, more sleep... less stress, less conflict, less trouble...)

-         What will that give you? (e.g. respect, happiness, peace, opportunity)

So, what you really want might be respect, and there’s more than one way of getting that.

It can also be helpful to ask yourself “What DON’T I want?”

To get what you want, it helps to have a goal. This focuses your energy and actions towards getting what you want. Otherwise what you want just seems out of reach.

A good goal has 5 parts to it, known as ‘S.M.A.R.T.’:

Specific - not general and vague but SPECIFIC   

Measurable - so you know when you've got it. What does it look like? Feel like? What do you say to yourself?

Achievable and As-if Now - so make it stretching enough to s t r e t c h  you, and not TOO much!

Rewarding - you DO want it, right? What will it actually give you?

Time-based - with a date and a time (tick tick tick... it gets you moving towards your goal!)

For example: “I want to be healthier” – this is a lovely goal but how will you know when you have achieved it?

Instead, using the SMART technique, we can say:

“It is now (a specific date in 2 weeks time) and I am healthier because I am eating one piece of tasty fruit every day and have been doing this for 2 weeks.”

It’s specific and measurable (as long as you count to one!); it’s achievable (it’s only one item!); it’s rewarding (tasty fruit and being healthy!); and it’s time-based (everyday for the next 2 weeks).

You will know WHEN you have achieved this goal – and perhaps you can reward yourself (with something extra healthy!)

Another example:

“I want to be a friendlier person” – great! But how, where, when and with whom?

Using the SMART technique:

“It is now (specific date in 4 weeks time) and I notice that I am acting in a friendlier way because I am choosing to say and do at least one kind thing for (specific names in family / friends) every day."

Hey, you’ll feel better about yourself and your family and friends won’t mind you being kind to them at all! Again, this is a S.M.A.R.T. goal. Check it out for yourself.

You can use SMART goals for your friendships, stuff at school and at home, in your hobbies… for everything.

Of course goals only work if you really want them to!

Lots of people find that it really helps to WRITE the goal down and have it somewhere so you see it each day – so you remember it! 

Then when you have achieved it, you might like to just set a new goal, wouldn't you?